Eh, why don't you manifest this.........A spiritual journey.

What's all this hub bub about manifesting stuff into your reality by focusing your thoughts and intentions on a desired result?  I want stuff, and sometimes I focus on stuff, but I don't always get the stuff I want.  Does all this "Secret" manifestation really work?  Or is it just another pipe dream, an easy way out, or another scam perpetrated by modern day snake oil salesmen in an attempt to manifest my cash into their pockets?  It all seems too easy, there's no way that just being positive and setting an intention could possibly cause things in the "real" world to come true.  There's work that must be done, school that must be attended, effort must be put forth to attain a goal.  We can't just twiddle away our time day dreaming about how we wish things would be and expect them to happen, I call it balderdash!!  

But seeing as how I've judged things I didn't understand in my past and been wrong, and for the sake of keeping an open mind, lets take a little peak at all of this hokus pokus, at the very least it gave us a chance to say hokus pokus.  If we think about this, rationally of course, everything that exist in this world, cars, art, buildings even modern farming, came at first in the form of a thought.  We all have thousands of thoughts each day, but it seems the ones that became real had some emotion behind them, some desire to make something better, or to create shelter or to simply have more accessible food.  The other aspect of having these emotion filled thoughts come into reality is putting them down on paper, or having a plan, this makes them a little more real.  Even our ancient ancestors would take stick to dirt to draw out an idea for primitive shelter or paint on cave walls bountiful hunts.  They didn't worry about the HOW at first; they saw the end result.  The how just happened as part of the process.  Another element it seems is faith, you have to believe that there is a possibility of this idea becoming real, or you may need to become aware of any beliefs you have that would stand in the way of this thought becoming real.  So, there does appear to be some work involved, some internal effort has to take place for you to BE what it is that you desire, but is all this heavy emotional/mental lifting worth the effort?

Well let me tell you a little first hand experience of manifestation in my life.  I was introduced to and had been practicing meditation for several years, albeit my practice was not consistent I did see some benefits from it.  A little over a year ago at the end of 2012 however, I wasn't pleased with some areas of my life, namely where I was living.  I was living inland and I am much more of a water creature.  I made many excuses for years why I couldn't move towards the ocean, most of which were lame and feeble, "I don't earn enough", "it's too far", "I wont fit in".  I know, lame.  But none the less, they kept me put, content in my complacency.  I decided to put some of this manifestation stuff to work, but be serious about it, give it a real try and be consistent in my practice. I wrote down specifically what I wanted and when I wanted it to happen, I even decided to negotiate with my ego a bit and imagined living NEAR the ocean at first rather then ON the ocean BEFORE 2014, this seemed easier for my ego to swallow and I figured it was a foot in the door.   I meditated to clear and focus my mind, I visualized myself living in this place, I acted grateful as if it already existed in my life, I became aware of and removed any beliefs that said this can't happen or wont happen.  I did this for 90 days at the start of 2013 along with some other things I wanted to manifest(all of which came true BTW), then I let go in faith that it would happen.  The year went by and many amazing things did occur in my life, so much so that I actually forgot about my beach house.  Then out of the blue at the end of 2013, a friend told me about a place near the beach that may be something I was interested in, I went to look at it that very weekend, it was perfect, but the property manager told me that it was available December 26th, which I though was a weird time to move into a place, but whatever, I took it and I moved in.  At the end of the move in day, exhausted and laying on my couch in my new coastal digs, the memory of my intention popped in my head, "BEFORE 2014 I will be living in a beach front home"  I was sitting in my new ocean home 4 days before 2014.  An eerie feeling indeed, eerie and exciting.  This excitement gave me faith that manifestation does work, it takes some internal work and a bit of courage to walk through the doors of opportunity when they are opened, setting a detailed intention, writing it down, visualizing and emotionalizing my thoughts, removing limiting beliefs, manifestation is very very real if you have faith.  I think 2014 is going to be a very fun year, even the curve balls will be less scary with the knowledge that everything is leading to my over all intention, so patiently I wait for the unfolding of my thoughts, it makes the process so much more blissful, like a birthday present is around every corner.   Oh, one more thing, I apologize for calling it balderdash in the first paragraph. I just think its a funny word.  Manifestation works.  Make 2014 the year your thoughts become your currency.  Now go forth and dream big!

Spiritual growth through paddle boarding. A spiritual journey

I want six pack abs now!!!  I never seem to grow tired of my ridiculous demands I set for myself.  Even though on an intellectual level I fully understand that change takes time and a bit of effort, a part of me still wants to disregard the rules of the universe.  Whether we are choosing the direction of that change or it's being chosen for us, there is still a part of me that wants nothing to do with change.  Change is hard, sometimes painful, its too fast and sometimes its way too slow.  Trust me, I can always find a way that change is the only thing that needs to change in order to suit my fickle fancy.  This can be so so exhausting, my puny little "self will" armed with its feeble  opinion standing up against the rules of the universe. One would think that with all this resistance to change I would already have those abs I demanded. But noooo, no, I still have to put some physical effort into this creation and I have to coax that puny yet powerful little ego of mine to direct my effort towards a more worthy adversary, like maybe just my gut instead of the entire cosmos and the way things are.

I suppose I should be a little more gentle with myself.  We have been conditioned a bit to expect everything worth having to come in a shake and we just have to guzzle our way to perfection.  We've also been trained to compare ourselves to the genetically modified totally ripped cyborg on the cover of the muscle magazine.  If he could look like that in 6 weeks, why can't I??   This all ends in disappointment, and my ego loves disappointment, it loves the couch even more, and that is exactly where I will end up after a few sit ups and the half a gallon of protein shake failed to produce the body I desired in one afternoon.  My ego also loves to set impossible standards, it compares me to where I should be from where I actually am at and disregards where I've actually been, it loves to quit!  And why?  Because it is doing its job, it protects me, no matter what, it always will protect whatever concepts I have about myself whether or  not I consciously want to change or even improve myself for "our" benefit, the ego hates the change.

Recently I came to the conclusion that it is useless to resist a master resister such as my ego.  I decided to start practicing gratitude towards my ego, thanking it for doing it's job of protecting "us".  Telling it in a gentle sort of way that all though I would love to hear more about its ideas on sitting on the sofa all day watching Oprah and eating bon bons, that we are going to try something new called paddle boarding.  Then it will express its concerns about giant squid attacks, and I will quell its fears by telling it that we wont actually go in the water, we will just sit in the paddle board on the sea shore.  It's all about baby steps, no kicking and screaming, just a gentle negotiation with an unwilling but very useful partner.  Yes useful, you see I realized that if its my egos job to protect me, and it will protect any version of me.  I just have to set my intentions on where I would like to be, then start making small efforts in that direction.  When the resistant one shows up, I stop, chill out a little with my ego until it's comfortable, then we take another small step.  Before you know it, we've forgotten about the giant squid and the bon bons and we are paddling in open oceans towards a new version of ourselves.  Little by little there is more trust, little by little the ego starts to accept "I am a paddle boarder!"  Not only that, but I'm a bad ass paddle boarder(it loves to brag), and bad ass paddle boarders don't have guts, do they?  Of course I give my ego all the credit for this great idea of taking up paddle boarding, and I thank it once again for doing a great job in protecting this new version of me.  So no more demands, or resistance, me and my ego will work together as we paddle board, negotiating to flow of the universe, one baby step, or paddle stroke at a time.

Till your soul. A spiritual journey.

It has been said that our external realities are created by our internal states.  In other words, our collection of beliefs, whether we are aware of them or not, creates the world in which we perceive and experience.  Carl Jung once said, "Until you bring your subconscious to your conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate" and Mahatma Gandhi said, "We must BE the change we wish to see in this world."   Hmmmm, this gives us a lot of responsibility, kinda scary actually.  Outside of the occasional randomness of some unaware weenie that lets his dog do his business on your lawn, we are pretty much responsible for most of our aggravations in life, and even your reaction to that randomness is still our choice. Our financial situations, our acquaintances, our loves or our lack there of, we are responsible for all of it.  That is of course if you believe what either of these two have to say on this transcendental subject.

I got to thinking about all of this though and I wondered, is this really all that scary?  To take full responsibility for everything?  I suppose it sounds scary at first, or even kind of lame, it seems like a lot of work.  I recalled as a child growing up on a farm, all of the work that was involved, the constant upkeep, the toiling in the soil, the discipline of waking up early and working with the season and with nature and the joys of seeing the product of your labor, it was a first hand experience of being a co creator with the universe.     But this work, this would be grittier, dirtier, and I would be going it alone, I would be like a farmer without any draft animals or farm equipment to till my fields or plant my seeds, all of the labor falling squarely on my shoulders.  I would have to pull my own weeds, plant my own seeds, fertilize the soil, and be sure the plants I wanted to grow received plenty of water and sun.  I would also be responsible for harvesting whatever I decided to grow or whatever weeds I decided not to pull.  Well, I guess that sounds pretty cool, I get to choose what I grow and I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor, this responsibility thing is starting to sound a lot more fun and a lot less lame and scary!

I mean, I can be like a regular spiritual Farmer Bob.  Even if you're a city slicker, having a little garden might be kinda neat.  I can visualize or feel my internal state as if it were a beautiful field with trees, and weeds and vegetable plants, and fertile soil and sand traps and swamps and valleys and hills.  I could drain the swamp if I wanted and plant corn, or maybe not, maybe the swamp makes a nice water feature, keep swamp, cancel corn.  But I can most certainly pull these weeds or limiting beliefs that are choking off my roses.  I can fertilize and water my field with positive life choices of what I read, what I eat, what I focus on and how much I exercise.  I can plant oranges trees, avocados, mangos or whatever else I would like to physically manifest into my life and I can be grateful for my little farm as if it already exists, because it does exist.  It will be my own abundant Shangri-La.  From here I will tend to my garden, choosing what I want to project into this world, what fruits I want to reap, and being the change I want to see in this world.  Just a simple farmer, planting his seeds and tilling his soul and humbly creating his own little slice of paradise.

Why should I sit around and just DO nothing!?!? A spiritual journey.

Meditation....

Why in the world would anyone just sit around and do nothing but breathe?  Really?  It seems like such a waste of time, not to mention a waste of a valuable life.  And how can anyone sit in quiet meditation anyway?  With all of the thoughts running through your head, uncomfortable feelings, not to mention the physical pain that comes with sitting cross legged in one position  for hours on end.  Maybe meditation is just reserved for monks in Himalayan caves or hippies or girls that twist themselves into yoga poses.  Life is too busy for most people, there's too much going on, too much stress, there's just not enough space in this dog eat dog world to sit and do nothing, unless you like getting bit.

Or, maybe just maybe. meditation is exactly what everyone needs to create more space, not only for themselves, but for everyone else on this blue rock that we all share.  When I first started meditating, I thought it was a little ridiculous, it was so ingrained in me that to solve any problem you have to DO, take action, attack the problem with the blunt stick of old ideas, do this to exhaustion, then repeat if necessary.  I decided to read some books on the subject of meditation, very esoteric books were these, most of which left me standing in the forrest next to the tree that fell that no one heard  clapping with one hand, huh?  After these confusing reads, I sought out teachers to answer my queries on meditation, most of which added layers to my spiritual onion not to mention a few tears.  Some gave me solid vague advice like, "just breathe" but what to do with the thoughts??  Do I stop them, ignore them?  Talk to them?  Their response was always, "just breathe".   Other teachers I found set the spiritual bar quite high, telling me that some monks meditated for 50,000 hours before enlightenment.  50,000 hours???  What are ya nuts? I got 5 minutes in the shower allotted for my meditation practice, I may as well quit before I even sit!  Awe the frustration in all this searching and introspection!  Why does it have to be this hard? Why am I having such a difficult time understanding?  And who was this "I" that was doing all of this misunderstanding anyway?

And on that final question, "who is this I?" came a realization.  Once I tried to look deeply for this "I", this confused individual, I noticed that I couldn't actually see "him" or "it" or whatever "I" is.  I also realized that there was this space, looking for this "I". this dark mysterious, peaceful space that was simply observing all this confusion and thought from this space within.  Meditation is just that, it's just about creating that space between that which observes and the thought or the emotion or even the body, and we use the breath to do this.  That space we create gives us a chance to observe without judgment all of our inner workings, our thoughts, our judgements, our emotions even our physical pains. In fact, we are that space, the very space where all the stuff is happening. And with that I saw that I don't have to respond to everything. I don't have to react to every emotion, or thought because they weren't me, I was what was watching, or observing all of these things at some deeper level, from space, a peaceful quiet inner space. From here, slowly, we become more proactive in our choices.  Of course at first these are small slivers of space between the breaths, then thoughts, then space again, but does it need to be more?  Do I have to go live in a cave or give up my worldly goods to experience nirvana?  I think a sliver is a perfect place to start building my temple and I don't have to change location to start construction, just breath, right here, right now.  No mountain tops, no 50,000 hours, no depravity, just me on my mat, or at my desk at work, or on a walk in the park, for a few breaths here and there, I create some space, some awareness, some peace, from here we create the world we live in, from inside out we build our temple, one sliver at a time.

Where's my bliss? A spiritual journey.

Where's my bliss!?!?

I ask myself this question all of the time, but maybe a better question for me to start with is, "what is bliss?'  The dictionary describes it as "extreme happiness" or "ecstasy".  Wow! Extreme!  and Ecstasy!  How often do those two things occur in a persons life?  I mean aside from being an X games athlete or a raver?  Real ecstasy?  Not the tawdry form of excitement one gets from a roller coaster ride or a really good chili dog, but the kind you feel when you fall in love for the first time, when you bought your first car, saw the view from a mountain top you just concurred, a race you just won or seeing a new born for the first time?  It would seem that bliss is just something that happens as a blip on the radar of life, some people experiencing it more then others amidst the trudgery of every day activities like school, work, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc. etc.  Some would say. "thats just life, it's a struggle, it's work, we aren't suppose to be blissful all of the time!!"   But my question would be, why not?  Why can't we always be in a state of bliss?  Even in the rough spots?  Where we feel everything fully, happiness, sadness, grief, joy, but we feel it on the back drop of a low level of bliss, or excitement, or wonderment of what surprises are to come next?

Joseph Campbell used to teach his students, "follow your bliss!"  he said that it was the most important thing to do in this life.  But what is this?  And how do you find it?  How do we find our personal bliss let alone follow it?  This is what I plan on finding out, this is going to be my journey.   I came to the conclusion that with all of the distractions in life like television/movies, video games, advertisements along with a host of other shiny glitter, some of us lose that connection to true bliss.  It's almost like it's an atrophied  muscle that you have to work out at the gym, or a part of the brain you have to exercise with mental activities in order to get it back into focus.  You start slow, with baby steps, small excitements at first, whatever it takes to get your bliss pumping again!  This maybe be as simple as a roller coaster ride, or a road trip, or even just reading that book you've always wanted to make time to read but always made excuses, each human is different and unique along with their own personal bliss.  I suppose that would also be a very important element in all this, "the excuses", I must pay attention to the excuses, all those things that say "no", "you can't" "wouldn't be prudent" or "you're not smart, brave, rich, important enough" all of these limiting beliefs that somehow we agree to subconsciously that stand in the way of us and our bliss, our true calling, our love.   These beliefs are things that someone(maybe even ourselves?) agreed to be true without ever questioning there validity, sometimes even for a life time.

In short, I'm going to, "practice" being blissful, like playing the guitar or training for a marathon, small steps, start from where I'm at.  Get reacquainted with that blissful little soul that we all start out with that is mesmerized at the wonderment of all that life has to offer, when something as "simple" as a butterfly captured our imagination and this was enough to make our young hearts flutter with excitement.  Through meditation and introspection I'm going to get to know myself, not on the conscious level that most of us think we operate from, but from the subconscious level where 95% of all of our choices are actually made whether we like them or not.  I'm going to choose what is true for me and I'm going to discard all of the "should a" "would a" "could a's" out of my storage space and make room for my bliss to shine through so I can spend more time acting from the heart rather then from the mind.  Joseph Campbell also taught that every ancient human tribe had myths about heroes that went on journeys to slay monsters.  I guess this is my own heroes journey, to go and slay my own dragons, maybe this is actually where bliss lay, at the feet of a dragon, and what little boy wouldn't want to go on that adventure?  Maybe I'll even get a chili dog on my way.