Meditation....
Why in the world would anyone just sit around and do nothing but breathe? Really? It seems like such a waste of time, not to mention a waste of a valuable life. And how can anyone sit in quiet meditation anyway? With all of the thoughts running through your head, uncomfortable feelings, not to mention the physical pain that comes with sitting cross legged in one position for hours on end. Maybe meditation is just reserved for monks in Himalayan caves or hippies or girls that twist themselves into yoga poses. Life is too busy for most people, there's too much going on, too much stress, there's just not enough space in this dog eat dog world to sit and do nothing, unless you like getting bit.
Or, maybe just maybe. meditation is exactly what everyone needs to create more space, not only for themselves, but for everyone else on this blue rock that we all share. When I first started meditating, I thought it was a little ridiculous, it was so ingrained in me that to solve any problem you have to DO, take action, attack the problem with the blunt stick of old ideas, do this to exhaustion, then repeat if necessary. I decided to read some books on the subject of meditation, very esoteric books were these, most of which left me standing in the forrest next to the tree that fell that no one heard clapping with one hand, huh? After these confusing reads, I sought out teachers to answer my queries on meditation, most of which added layers to my spiritual onion not to mention a few tears. Some gave me solid vague advice like, "just breathe" but what to do with the thoughts?? Do I stop them, ignore them? Talk to them? Their response was always, "just breathe". Other teachers I found set the spiritual bar quite high, telling me that some monks meditated for 50,000 hours before enlightenment. 50,000 hours??? What are ya nuts? I got 5 minutes in the shower allotted for my meditation practice, I may as well quit before I even sit! Awe the frustration in all this searching and introspection! Why does it have to be this hard? Why am I having such a difficult time understanding? And who was this "I" that was doing all of this misunderstanding anyway?
And on that final question, "who is this I?" came a realization. Once I tried to look deeply for this "I", this confused individual, I noticed that I couldn't actually see "him" or "it" or whatever "I" is. I also realized that there was this space, looking for this "I". this dark mysterious, peaceful space that was simply observing all this confusion and thought from this space within. Meditation is just that, it's just about creating that space between that which observes and the thought or the emotion or even the body, and we use the breath to do this. That space we create gives us a chance to observe without judgment all of our inner workings, our thoughts, our judgements, our emotions even our physical pains. In fact, we are that space, the very space where all the stuff is happening. And with that I saw that I don't have to respond to everything. I don't have to react to every emotion, or thought because they weren't me, I was what was watching, or observing all of these things at some deeper level, from space, a peaceful quiet inner space. From here, slowly, we become more proactive in our choices. Of course at first these are small slivers of space between the breaths, then thoughts, then space again, but does it need to be more? Do I have to go live in a cave or give up my worldly goods to experience nirvana? I think a sliver is a perfect place to start building my temple and I don't have to change location to start construction, just breath, right here, right now. No mountain tops, no 50,000 hours, no depravity, just me on my mat, or at my desk at work, or on a walk in the park, for a few breaths here and there, I create some space, some awareness, some peace, from here we create the world we live in, from inside out we build our temple, one sliver at a time.
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